The LGBTQIA+ Greetings Card Survival Guide: Questions People Are Too Afraid to Ask
Bare CardsChoosing a greetings card should be a simple, thoughtful gesture. But if you're buying a card for someone in the LGBTQIA+ community and you're worried about saying the wrong thing then, most importantly, that means you care!
A common worry might be not knowing which pronouns they use. Maybe they've recently come out, changed their name or identify as non-binary. You want your card to make them smile—not make them feel unseen.
The good news? Most people aren't expecting perfection. They're simply looking for kindness, respect and genuine support.
We've answered some of the most common questions people ask so you can choose a greetings card with confidence.
1. Is it rude to buy a gendered greetings card?
Not necessarily—but it's worth thinking about.
If someone identifies as non-binary or doesn't identify with traditional gender labels, a card saying "For Him" or "For Her" might not feel right.
When you're unsure, choosing a gender-neutral greetings card is often the safest and most inclusive option.
2. What if I don't know someone's pronouns?
If you don't know, don't guess.
Choose a card that doesn't use pronouns at all or uses inclusive wording instead. Keeping your message personal and heartfelt is far more important than trying to guess correctly.
3. What if someone has just come out?
Congratulations are usually appropriate if they've shared the news with you and seem happy about it.
You don't need to write a long message. Sometimes a simple "I'm so proud of you" or "Thank you for trusting me" means everything.
4. What if they've changed their name?
Use their current name.
Avoid mentioning or writing their previous name unless they've specifically told you they're comfortable with it. For many people, using an old name can be upsetting.
5. What is a deadname?
A deadname is the name someone no longer uses after changing it, often during a gender transition.
As a general rule, always use the name they've asked you to use.
6. Is a rainbow card always appropriate?
Rainbows are a well-known symbol of Pride, but they don't represent every occasion.
If it's someone's birthday, wedding or anniversary, choosing a card for the celebration itself is often more thoughtful than choosing a card simply because it features a rainbow.
7. Can I buy a Pride card if I'm not LGBTQIA+?
Absolutely.
Supporting friends, family and colleagues is something to celebrate. Many allies send Pride cards to show encouragement, solidarity and love.
8. How do I address a non-binary couple?
Simple is often best.
Use names where possible or write something like:
- To you both
- Congratulations to you both
- Wishing you both every happiness
There's no need to overcomplicate it.
9. Can grandparents buy Pride cards?
Of course.
Support from parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles and extended family can mean more than they realise. A thoughtful card can become something that's treasured for years.
If you're buying a card for a family member who is non-binary or prefers gender-neutral language, there are also some useful alternatives to traditional family terms:
- Son or daughter → child
- Grandson or granddaughter → grandchild
- Niece or nephew → nibling
- Brother or sister → sibling
- Aunt or uncle → pibling
Nibling is a gender-neutral term for the child of your sibling, while pibling is a gender-neutral term for your parent's sibling. Pibling is formed from parent's sibling, in the same way that nibling is used instead of niece or nephew.
You don't need to use these terms if the person you're writing to doesn't use them. As with pronouns and names, the most important thing is to use the language that the person feels comfortable with.
And if you're unsure? Simply using their name, or choosing wording that doesn't require a gendered family term, can be an easy and thoughtful solution.
Sometimes it's the small things — being willing to use the words that make someone feel comfortable and seen — that mean the most.
A thoughtful card can become something that's treasured for years.
10. I'm worried about getting it wrong.
That probably means you're coming from a place of kindness.
Most people appreciate genuine effort. A respectful card with a sincere message will almost always mean more than trying to find the "perfect" words.
Quick Answers to Common Questions
Can I say "Happy Birthday" to someone who's non-binary?
Absolutely! There's nothing wrong with saying "Happy Birthday" to someone who is non-binary. Birthdays aren't gendered, so you can celebrate their special day just as you would anyone else's.
If you're writing a card, the important thing is to use their correct name and pronouns and avoid gendered language if you're unsure what they prefer.
A simple, heartfelt message such as "Happy Birthday! Hope you have a wonderful day" is perfectly appropriate.
Should I use they/them?
Only if you know those are the person's pronouns.
If you're unsure, simply use their name instead.
Do all LGBTQIA+ people like rainbow designs?
No.
Some love colourful Pride designs.
Others prefer floral artwork, landscapes, fantasy art or minimalist designs.
Just like everyone else, people have different tastes.
Is it OK to ask what card someone would prefer?
Yes.
If you're close to them, asking respectfully is often appreciated rather than making assumptions.
Can I give a general birthday card instead?
Absolutely.
Sometimes the most inclusive choice is simply choosing a beautiful birthday card without focusing on identity at all.
Is it OK to use "partner" instead of boyfriend or girlfriend?
If you aren't sure how someone describes their relationship, "partner" is a respectful and inclusive option.
Should children's cards always say Son or Daughter?
Not necessarily.
Many families now prefer gender-neutral alternatives that simply celebrate the child rather than relying on traditional labels.
Is there such a thing as an eco-friendly LGBTQIA+ greetings card?
Yes.
Choosing greetings cards printed on sustainable board, without plastic cello-wrap or separate envelopes, helps reduce unnecessary waste while still celebrating the people you care about.
Bare Cards' patented self-sealing greetings cards remove the need for a separate envelope, helping cut down on paper waste while remaining fully recyclable apart from the small peel-off adhesive strip.
Choosing the Right Card
When buying any greetings card, ask yourself these four questions:
- Does this reflect who they are?
- Would they enjoy this design?
- Does the wording feel respectful?
- Does it come from genuine kindness?
If the answer is yes, you've probably found the perfect card.
Why Representation Matters
For many people, finding a greetings card that reflects their identity can be surprisingly difficult.
Inclusive greetings cards help people feel recognised, respected and celebrated. They send a simple but powerful message:
"I see you, and I'm glad you're in my life."
That's something everyone deserves.
Bare Cards' Commitment to Inclusion
At Bare Cards, we believe greetings cards should celebrate everyone.
That's why we're continuing to expand our LGBTQIA+ collection with inclusive wording, thoughtful designs and eco-friendly innovation.
Our patented self-sealing greetings cards eliminate the need for a separate envelope, reducing paper waste while creating cards that are kinder to the planet.
Whether you're celebrating a birthday, Pride, a wedding, an anniversary or simply sending a note to someone you care about, we believe everyone deserves to find a card that feels right.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is the best greetings card for someone who is non-binary?
A card with gender-neutral wording or one that focuses on the occasion rather than gender is often the most appropriate choice.
Is it rude to send a gendered greetings card?
Not intentionally, but if you know someone identifies differently, choosing an inclusive alternative shows thought and respect.
Are eco-friendly LGBTQIA+ greetings cards available?
Yes. Bare Cards combines inclusive designs with patented self-sealing greetings cards that eliminate the need for separate envelopes and plastic cello-wrap.
What should I write in an LGBTQIA+ greetings card?
Write exactly what you'd say to someone you care about. Keep it genuine, personal and supportive.
Do greetings cards really make a difference?
Absolutely. A thoughtful card can help someone feel seen, valued and celebrated—sometimes at exactly the moment they need it most.
Final Thoughts
You don't need to know every term, every identity or every flag to send a meaningful greetings card.
Kindness, respect and a willingness to learn go a long way.
The perfect greetings card isn't about getting every word exactly right—it's about letting someone know they're loved, appreciated and accepted for who they are.
And that's something worth celebrating every day.
